Perfectionism Is Holding You Back (Not Helping You Get Ahead):Navigating study, stress, and self-worth

If you’ve ever stared at a blank screen waiting for the “perfect” opening sentence to appear...
If you’ve spent more time fixing formatting than writing your actual assignment...
If you’ve avoided submitting something because it “wasn’t quite good enough yet”...

You’re not lazy. You’re not unmotivated.
You might be dealing with perfectionism—and it might be quietly holding you back.

At Lit Therapy, we see many young adults in their final years of high school or early years of university who are overwhelmed, stuck, and burnt out—not because they don’t care, but because they care too much. Perfectionism can masquerade as drive or ambition, but at its core, it’s often driven by fear.

Let’s unpack it.

What Is Perfectionism, Really?

Perfectionism isn’t about having high standards. It’s about tying your self-worth to achievement—and fearing that anything short of perfect means you’re not good enough.

It’s the voice that says:

  • “If I don’t get a distinction, I’ve failed.”

  • “If I can’t do this perfectly, what’s the point of trying?”

  • “If I let people see me struggle, they’ll think I’m not smart/capable/strong enough.”

Over time, perfectionism doesn’t make us perform better. It makes us procrastinate, isolate ourselves, burn out, or give up entirely.

How It Shows Up: Real-World Examples

1. The Final-Year Freeze
You’re in Year 12, and suddenly every assignment, exam, and uni application feels like it could make or break your entire future. Instead of feeling motivated, you feel paralysed. You might avoid studying until the last minute, not because you don’t care—but because you’re terrified you won’t live up to the pressure.

🧠 Perfectionism whispers: “You have to get this right. If you mess this up, you’ll ruin everything.”

2. The Uni Burnout Loop
You’re in your second year of uni. You got great marks last semester, but now you feel like you’ve set an impossible standard for yourself. You start rereading and rewriting every sentence of every assignment. You skip meals and sleep to keep up, and still feel like you’re behind.

🧠 Perfectionism whispers: “Everyone else is coping—why can’t you?”

3. The Application Avoider
You want to apply for a job, internship, or course—but you delay hitting “submit” because your resume doesn’t feel perfect, or you’re worried you don’t tick every single box. You end up missing the deadline and feel worse than before.

🧠 Perfectionism whispers: “Don’t apply unless you’re 100% ready. You’ll just embarrass yourself.”

Why Perfectionism Is a Trap

  • It delays your progress. You spend so much time trying to get things “just right” that you miss opportunities or never finish.

  • It disconnects you from others. You may hide your struggles, making it harder to ask for help or admit you’re not coping.

  • It reinforces shame. If your worth is tied to outcomes, every small mistake can feel like proof that you’re not enough.

And ironically? Perfectionism doesn’t make you better—it just makes you more anxious.

So What Can You Do Instead?

Here are a few ways to loosen perfectionism’s grip:

1. Aim for “Done,” Not “Perfect”
Try shifting your goal from perfection to completion. Ask yourself: “What’s the minimum I need to do to get this finished?” Often, done is better than perfect—and done is what actually moves you forward.

2. Take Imperfect Action
Apply for the job. Submit the essay. Send the email. The longer you wait for it to be perfect, the more likely you are to give up or self-sabotage. Imperfect action is brave action.

3. Talk Back to the Inner Critic
If you notice that harsh, self-critical voice flaring up, ask: “Would I say this to a friend?” If not, try replacing it with something more compassionate: “It’s okay to try my best and not have it all together.”

4. Let People See You Struggle
You don’t have to pretend to have it all under control. Let friends, mentors, or therapists support you. Struggling doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re human.

Therapy Can Help

If perfectionism is keeping you stuck, anxious, or isolated, talking to a therapist can help you untangle the beliefs behind it. At Lit Therapy, we work with young adults who want to let go of impossible standards and start showing up fully in their lives—not perfectly, but authentically.

You don’t have to earn your worth. You already have it.

And that assignment, job, or semester? You deserve to get through it with support, not shame.

Ready to break up with perfectionism?
Reach out to the team at Lit Therapy. We’re here to help you move forward with confidence, self-compassion, and clarity.

Gemma Downie